By Naoufal Sbaoui
By Naoufal Sbaoui

It needs a surgical procedure, to wrap off, and give a complete amnesty of this obvious memory: We all have our “Mister Big”. Unlike Carrie, the end might not have ended yet, and for some of you, the story is still unfolding, being written, or even not starting.

The only thing that remains certain is that, once in your lifetime, this great (good?Bad?joyful?painful?: depends) relationship will show up, or end up in your book life story.

The motivations to write on a “oh my god”, so intricate and revisited topic are numerous, various. It’s a paradox, since I am trying to explore and put the light on some new, untreated subjects. But I have been attracted and caught by this saturated and overexploited one… It Might be the sense of belonging to a female “caste” experience.

The reason is simple: it is, meanwhile, the inexhaustible, the constant refreshed and surprising story, different and so similar at the same time. It depends on the persons, the context, and the ins and outs of the couple. Being in a relationship, is like exploring a new chemical cocktail: the ads and the symbiosis determines or condemns the human mix, lying on tinny and infinitesimal details, unexplained matches…it’s free of any book guide or rational explanations. If you try so, you might end up with a brain commotion or cerebral “common sense” brain drain.

This particular period leads the whole of us to make a point. Rather positive or less colorful and successful than we thought, while starting this year, on January 1st 2014…few days to stand back, scroll events, happenings, and take some strong choices and targets to achieve for 2015. I won’t give you advices. I won’t tell you what’s good or bad. I won’t lecture each one of us, because I’m the one who needs to have a surgical gesture on my brain, on my heart, on my acts. I need to share. Not to put a spell on our lives… To cut the sensitive emotional charge I have. To minimize the consideration and the importance people can have on my life story.

SO, as Carrie carries much more about how to find love-and rather than to keep it, to jump on the next story expecting the “quinte flush royal” to fall in her hands-then how to understand the twisted mind of men category, I listened to a call: I will write the hell of it, this Mr Big story…Not that I haven’t met a man that twisted my mind. It’s Already done. Classified. Then what? Should I die? Should I consider myself as “it happens once il a life” list? “Expired promotion on life’s gifts”???

  1. What will happen this year, this future, is mine. Besides, it belongs to me to shake the tree as strong as I can, bringing down the NEXT episode. No drama, no kings and queens arm wrestling, no Marquis de Sade analysis (he used to believe that “Charity is rather a vice of pride, than true virtue of the soul.”). It’s just me and You. I am talking to the Next one (yeah call me skyzo or mind troubled, I don’t give a high price value about biased and hasty judgments)! I am not waiting, since life is doing the job we all know, micro processing our existences: a package highly studied made of fresh, hurtful, beautiful, unexpected meetings. It will happen, but when it will, I have a QCM to feed:

-do you know how to hurt me?

-have you cheated a lot in your life?

-Have you lied a lot?

-Have you cooked disgusting dishes and used to do since now?

-Do you eat lunch in your bed and then sleep, leaving it on your nightstand?

-Are you an Addict (many substances)?

-Are you looking to the woman you love, sometime (bad habits) as if it was a vase?

-Is your mom  going to interfer, even in the color of the sheets, and the menu of each diner?

-Do you think only about your friends, soccer games, beers and wine shared above all?

Then please, if so, let’s make it work by first accepting that all these things are real, and we might fix some of it, together.

Because I am far away from the perfect “little thing”, I knew you won’t. I am strong; I can be invincible, if you allow me to do so. If you might make some place, not only space. We will succeed.

Again, I am repeating myself, our choice determines our strength, to go as far and high the level is, is not scary. It is entertaining. Think about the result. It will give you the required motivation to perform the way to your final point: happiness, perfectly not perfect.

My first gift would be “la femme parfait est une connasse” book, and my second one “l’amour dure trois ans”, so we ll be done with negativism and statistics. Let’s write it our way. Because if am wrong, failing, misleading again…It’s my own story, I am not living vicariously a story belonging or based on some other’s experience.

It means a lot to me, but i won’t forget that, when the world collapses with deception and pain, i only find my  close friends. They are very few. But the best. I shall thank them, always here when its going wrong, always far when i’m doing fine…It’s called love. So be strong, be women with the full and oh so complicated and complex mix we are made of…Yes gentleman, we not only know it, we also claim it!

Mr Big, might have some Big defaults, some Big imperfections, some Big I’ll break-your-neck reasons, but it’s our duty to make a Big up in our lives, because he is the one that brings some lights, joy , love, perfect fights, perfect reconciliation, and…Big dreams that sometimes, comes true. Happy Mr Big’s new year. To the past ones, to the remaining ones, and to all the Mr Big that haven’t show up, and will surely do …

Big Girls also cry…then Make up and Shine. Just like you.


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